Sometimes love alone is just not enough to save your relationship
As it has been said, ‘love is a beautiful and many-splendoured thing’. When love becomes toxic, however, matters can shift to not-so-beautiful and downright horrific very quickly. All of the love in the world will not pull you out of the terrors of a toxic/abusive relationship. There is a moment inside a toxic relationship when you realize that things just aren’t going to get better as they are and drastic changes have to be made on your part.
You have to decide for yourself what you want for yourself, what behavior you choose to participate in and what is harmful or toxic to you.— Holly Kellums
However, you choose to define the term toxic relationship is solely up to you. By my definition, it is any relationship with another human that significantly and consistently drains my soul and takes me away from the beauty of life. This person can be a significant other or an old friend. Even family members, bosses, co-workers, and peers can become toxic. Anyone that doesn’t have your best interest at heart or tends to bring out the worst in you can be toxic and detrimental to your health.
Any relationship can be hard. But the simplified difference between a good and bad relationship is the ratio of good to bad that stems from it.
When you feel trapped inside a toxic relationship it can be extremely difficult to think objectively. The nature of the relationship tends to put an individual at odds not only with the other party of the relationship but with themself and others. Therefore, your whole perception of what love really is or should become warped. In these instances, your idea of what love is will not save you from the dark reality of abuse.
If you are in this type of relationship I implore you to get out now. Seek help and support outside of the relationship. Speaking with someone who has an informed and unbiased outlook on the subject can help you to put things into a clearer perspective. Guilt and denial are severe symptoms of toxic relationships, but they can be overcome with the proper education and support system. Unfortunately, many times this only happens when the situation escalates to the point where the pain of staying with this person is stronger than the denial of the truth. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.
— Deborah Reber
If you and your partner can’t go a day without arguing and you constantly feel manipulated, abused, and disrespected; odds are that you’re in an unhealthy and possibly toxic relationship. When you decide to get completely honest with yourself and listen to your heart, you will know if the time has come when love alone is just not enough to save your relationship.
If you believe that you have reached this point, it may be time to walk away and save yourself.
I hope you enjoyed this piece! Connect with me more at BobbyJMattingly.com
Originally published on Medium.com
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